Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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