He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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