Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
