i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
