love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
