So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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