Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize