Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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