Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Mom said you looked used
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
