I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
