dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
