end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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