morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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