My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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