I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
