happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
