Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
