i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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