Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
