I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
