McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
