do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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