but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
