Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
