u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i was born a porn star she said
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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