Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
