You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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