I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
