Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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