i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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