Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
