are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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