I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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