I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm like, not good at living.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
