This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
