bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
