butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
