It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
