rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
