break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
