I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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