So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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