so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
