I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
