at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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