My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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