if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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