I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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