So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
