If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
