Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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