yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
barbara walters just said penis...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
