Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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