I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
40s are totally the cure
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
