yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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