i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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