VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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