as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
