I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
